Have you ever wondered why you feel hidden from yourself? Why, despite living every moment of your life, you sometimes feel like a stranger in your own skin? You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many of us find ourselves asking, “Why do I feel so disconnected from who I truly am?” The answer to this question often lies in the languages we speak—both external and internal—and the environments we immerse ourselves in.
External Language: The Words We Speak to the World
The words we use when communicating with others form our external language. This language is not just about spoken words; it’s about the persona we present to the world. Often, our external language is shaped by societal expectations, cultural norms, and the desire to fit in. We adopt certain phrases, manners, and behaviors because they are deemed acceptable or successful in the environments we inhabit.
This external language can sometimes act as a mask, concealing our true thoughts and feelings. Over time, if we continuously speak in a way that doesn’t align with our inner truth, we start feeling hidden even from ourselves. We might find ourselves nodding in agreement during conversations that don’t resonate with our true beliefs or avoiding discussions about topics we are passionate about because we fear judgment or rejection.
Internal Language: The Conversations We Have with Ourselves
Just as important as the language we use with others is the language we use internally. This internal language consists of the thoughts, beliefs, and narratives we tell ourselves daily. It’s the inner voice that can either uplift or criticize, encourage or discourage.
For many, this internal dialogue is filled with self-doubt, fear, and negativity. We might tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough. These internal conversations shape our self-perception and, if left unchecked, can cause us to hide our true selves. The more we tell ourselves we’re not enough, the more likely we are to shrink away from opportunities, connections, and experiences that could help us grow.
People and Environments: The Impact of Our Surroundings
The people we surround ourselves with and the environments we inhabit also play a significant role in how hidden we feel. If you’re constantly around people who don’t value authenticity, who discourage vulnerability, or who have a negative outlook on life, it can be challenging to express your true self. Similarly, environments that don’t foster openness, creativity, or self-exploration can lead to feelings of being stuck or concealed.
Have you ever felt invigorated after spending time with a particular friend or in a certain place? Conversely, have you ever left a gathering feeling drained or uneasy? These reactions are often a direct result of how much these people or environments allow us to be our authentic selves. Being in a supportive and encouraging environment can help us feel seen and valued, whereas being in a toxic or judgmental one can cause us to retreat inward.
Uncovering Your True Self: Steps to Improve Your Language and Environment
So, how can we begin to uncover our true selves and stop feeling so hidden? Here are some steps to consider:
- Evaluate Your External Language: Reflect on the way you speak to others. Are you using language that feels true to you, or are you adopting phrases and tones to fit in? Start being mindful of how you express yourself in various situations. It’s okay to disagree, to have unique opinions, and to speak your truth, even if it differs from the majority.
- Transform Your Internal Dialogue: Begin to notice the way you talk to yourself. Are your thoughts filled with kindness and encouragement, or are they harsh and critical? Challenge negative self-talk by questioning its validity. Replace “I’m not good enough” with “I am capable and constantly growing.” Practice affirmations and positive self-talk to gradually shift your internal narrative.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Take a look at the people in your life. Are they supportive of your growth and self-exploration, or do they tend to hold you back? While it’s not always possible to choose every person in our lives, we can choose how much time and energy we invest in certain relationships. Seek out those who uplift you, who encourage you to be yourself, and who challenge you to grow.
- Create Nurturing Environments: Consider the environments where you spend your time. Are they conducive to self-discovery and growth, or do they stifle your true self? This could be your home, your workplace, or even your social settings. Try to create spaces that reflect who you are and encourage you to be authentic. This could mean setting up a cozy corner for reflection, finding a new hobby group that shares your interests, or even changing jobs if your current one doesn’t align with your values.
Conclusion
Feeling hidden is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent one. By becoming aware of the languages we use—both with others and ourselves—and by carefully choosing the people and environments we surround ourselves with, we can begin to uncover our true selves. Remember, the journey to self-discovery is ongoing, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. As you start aligning your external and internal worlds, you’ll find that you no longer feel hidden, but instead, more visible and vibrant than ever before.
Embrace the process, and you might just find that the person you’ve been looking for has been there all along, waiting to be seen.